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Mr. Clinton's Future

Originally published during the last year of the Clinton presidency.

There are those who wonder what Mr Clinton will do after leaving the US Presidency, particularly as he is considered too young to retire. Given recent events, it may be necessary for him to seek this new career earlier than he had intended. Fortunately, an incident at the Olympics may have pointed the way.

A Canadian snowboarder was stripped of his gold medal when traces of marijuana were found during drug testing. After he explained that he had not used the drug himself, but merely inadvertently inhaled second-hand smoke at a party he had attended, his medal was returned. So the International Olympic Committee determined that it's OK for snowboarders to inhale as long as they don't smoke.

On the other hand, Mr Clinton claims that in the past, he has smoked marijuana, but not inhaled.* Clearly Mr Clinton is ideally qualified to become coach of the US snowboarding team.

As part of the daily team training regimen, he could gather the team around him, roll a big fat joint, and smoke it - carefully ensuring all the smoke is distributed into the room (and not into his own lungs) where the team members can get full benefit simply by deeply breathing in the ambient atmosphere. With a coach such as Mr Clinton, the snowboarders could indeed reach new heights.


*(As a totally unrelated issue, do you think he expected Monica to "inhale" when she was "on the pipe?")