Jokes Menu - Series 4

The Magic Broom

Bob joined the army. When he arrived at camp, they were handing out rifles, so he got in line. When Bob finally got to the front of the line, they had run out.

The sergeant issuing rifles gave him a broom saying:

''This is a magic broom… Just point it at the enemy and say 'Bangity bangity bang,' and they will die.''

Now Bob was really worried because he didn't think it would work. But then he saw the line for bayonets. He though he might stand a chance if he could stab the enemy to death. But, bob was far back in line. As luck would have it, Bob's turn came and they had ran out of bayonets.

'The corporal in charge said:

'Don't worry. I will give you this magic carrot… Just point it at an enemy soldier, say 'Stabbity stabbity stab,' and they will die."

Now Bob was really terrified, going into battle with a broom and carrot. But Bob has to follow orders and goes out onto the battlefield, only to be laughed at by the enemy. One man even came up to him, hoping to get a good shot at him.

Well, Bob didn't have anything to lose so he pointed the broom at him and said ''Bangity bangity bang!'' And the guy fell down dead.

Another enemy soldier came right up to him so Bob pointed the magic carrot, saying "Stabbity stabbity stab!" Again, the man fell dead.

Amazed at what was happening, he continued to fight, and there were dead enemy soldiers all around him.

Then, another one of the enemy came slowly up to him and he would not die. Bob tried over and over to shoot him with the broom and stab him with the carrot, but he just would not die.

The last words poor Bob heard as he was being trampled to death were ''Tankity tankity tank.''