How did a cat take first prize at the bird show?
He just jumped up to the cage, reached in, and took it.
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
Why did the litter of communist kittens become capitalists?
Because they finally opened their eyes.
Why are cats better than babies?
Because you only have to change a litter box once a day.
What is the name of the unauthorized autobiography of the cat?
Hiss and Tell.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a cat?
A big furry creature that purrs while it sits on your lap and squashes you.
What does a cat do when it gets mad?
It has a hissy fit.
What do you call the cat that was caught by the police?