Wrapping Presents --- with the cat
Sarah Higley from Massachusetts shared this story with us.
- Clear large space on table for wrapping present.
- Go to closet, open door, get bag in which present is contained, close door.
- Open closet door and remove cat.
- Go to cupboard and get wrapping paper.
- Remove cat from cupboard.
- Go to drawer and get transparent tape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc.
- Lay out present and wrapping materials on table.
- Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat, and string.
- Remove present from bag.
- Remove cat from bag.
- Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present.
- Lay out paper.
- Cut the paper to size.
- Throw away first sheet because cat swatted the scissors and the paper tore.
- Put cat in the bag the present came out of and cut second sheet.
- Place present on cut-to-size paper.
- Lift up edges of paper to seal in present. Remove cat from in between present and paper and try again.
- Cut correct length of tape for sealing seams.
- Remove tape from cat.
- Seal seams making corners as neat as possible.
- Chase cat down hall and retrieve the ribbon.
- Try to wrap ribbon around present in a two- directional turn.
- Roll up ribbon and remove paper that is now torn, due to cat's insisting on helping with the ribbon.
- Repeat steps 12-22 until down to last sheet of paper.
- Decide to skip steps 12-16 in order to save time and reduce risk of losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that you know is right size for sheet of paper.
- Put present in box, and tie down with string.
- Remove string, open box and remove cat.
- Put all wrapping materials in bag, with the present, and head for room with a lock.
- Enter room, lock door and lay out wrapping materials.
- Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat out. Close and lock door.
- Lay out last sheet of paper trying not to bang arms and hands against the toilet.
- Seal box, wrap with paper and start down tears with transparent tape. Now tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst affected areas.
- Label, then sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulating yourself on making the best of a bad job.
- Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make yourself a well deserved drink and feed cat.
- Spend next 15 minutes looking for cat.
- Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.
- Retrieve all discarded sheets of wrapping paper, feed cat and return to locked room for last attempt, making certain you are alone and the door is locked.
- At time of handing over present, smile sweetly as recipient tries to hide their contempt at being handed such a shabbily wrapped present.
- Swear to yourself that next year, you will have the store wrap the darn thing for you.