Wrapping Presents --- with the cat

Sarah Higley from Massachusetts shared this story with us.

  1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.

  2. Go to closet, open door, get bag in which present is contained, close door.

  3. Open closet door and remove cat.

  4. Go to cupboard and get wrapping paper.

  5. Remove cat from cupboard.

  6. Go to drawer and get transparent tape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc.

  7. Lay out present and wrapping materials on table.

  8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat, and string.

  9. Remove present from bag.

  10. Remove cat from bag.

  11. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present.

  12. Lay out paper.

  13. Cut the paper to size.

  14. Throw away first sheet because cat swatted the scissors and the paper tore.

  15. Put cat in the bag the present came out of and cut second sheet.

  16. Place present on cut-to-size paper.

  17. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present. Remove cat from in between present and paper and try again.

  18. Cut correct length of tape for sealing seams.

  19. Remove tape from cat.

  20. Seal seams making corners as neat as possible.

  21. Chase cat down hall and retrieve the ribbon.

  22. Try to wrap ribbon around present in a two- directional turn.

  23. Roll up ribbon and remove paper that is now torn, due to cat's insisting on helping with the ribbon.

  24. Repeat steps 12-22 until down to last sheet of paper.

  25. Decide to skip steps 12-16 in order to save time and reduce risk of losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that you know is right size for sheet of paper.

  26. Put present in box, and tie down with string.

  27. Remove string, open box and remove cat.

  28. Put all wrapping materials in bag, with the present, and head for room with a lock.

  29. Enter room, lock door and lay out wrapping materials.

  30. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat out. Close and lock door.

  31. Lay out last sheet of paper trying not to bang arms and hands against the toilet.

  32. Seal box, wrap with paper and start down tears with transparent tape. Now tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst affected areas.

  33. Label, then sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulating yourself on making the best of a bad job.

  34. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make yourself a well deserved drink and feed cat.

  35. Spend next 15 minutes looking for cat.

  36. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.

  37. Retrieve all discarded sheets of wrapping paper, feed cat and return to locked room for last attempt, making certain you are alone and the door is locked.

  38. At time of handing over present, smile sweetly as recipient tries to hide their contempt at being handed such a shabbily wrapped present.

  39. Swear to yourself that next year, you will have the store wrap the darn thing for you.

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