Top 10 signs your cat is overweight

  1. Fifteen month gestation period, and still no kittens.
  2. No longer cleans itself unless coated in Cheese Whiz.
  3. Cat door so large it needs a garage door opener
  4. Waits for the third bowl of food to get finicky.
  5. Only catches mice that get trapped in its gravitational pull.
  6. Enormous belly keeps your hardwood floors freshly buffed.
  7. Has more chins than lives
  8. Always lands on her spleen.
  9. Fewer calls to the fire department, but a sudden upsurge in broken branches
  10. Confused guests constantly mistaking her for beanbag chair.

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